National studies have also linked poor sleep to a variety of health issues.

One of the reasons that people do not sleep well at night is because of uncomfortable pillows.

The role of a pillow is two-fold.  It is designed for comfort and to keep your spine in natural alignment by supporting the head neck and back.

On those nights when you are not interrupted by duties of caregiving, a better pillow can mean a better night’s sleep. 

But many folks don’t know what to look for when purchasing a pillow.  Should you choose soft or firm, feather, down or foam?  One thing is for sure: if your pillow is so soft that you need to bend it in half in order to achieve some comfort, then it is too soft.

Pillows can cost anywhere from five dollars up to one hundred dollars and can last anywhere from three years to twenty years depending upon the quality of the pillow.  I don’t imagine that I’d choose a pillow that would last for twenty years as there is a good chance that it will become soiled before then even with the use of pillow protectors.

When choosing a pillow, take into consideration the kind of sleeper the pillow user is.

According to Beth Mack, Chief Merchandizing Officer for Hollander Home Fashions in Boca Raton, Florida, those who sleep on their sides (which is appromimately 79% of the population) require the most support and should choose an extra firm pillow.  Those who sleep on their back (20%) should purchase a medium-firm to firm pillow while a medium density, flatter pillow is best for those who sleep on their stomach (10%). 

Because 70% of the population are side-sleepers, a supportive, extra firm pillow might be best for guest bedrooms.  Also keep in mind that the best pillow may not always be the largest.

When purchasing a pillow, also take into mind that there are hypoallergenic pillows.  Many folks believe that down and feather pillows are never hypoallergenic but according to Linda Howard, vice president of sales for Pacific Coast Feather states that if the down and feathers are washed correctly, then there is not a problem. 

Memory foam pillows have also become popular and work by molding themselves to the contours of your body.  “Open-cell” memory foam also allows air flow which keeps the pillow from becoming as warm (which may be of benefit to pre-menopausal and menopausal women).  Memory foam cannot be washed though so it’s of benefit to use a zippered pillow protector with this type of pillow.

Other pillows can be washed if they are of higher quality.  Check the labels before laundering. 

While suggesting that pillows may help to prevent Alzheiemr’s Disease might be a bit of a stretch, it’s till nice to be educated on how to get a better sleep with a little pillow talk. 

Sweet dreams!

References: Spine-health.com. MedicineNet.com, Costco Connections magazine – October 2011

Photo courtesy of MS Images

Although most marriage vows contain the phrase “for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health til death do us part”, during a question and answer session this week, the religious broadcaster told his viewers that divorcing a spouse who has Alzheimer’s Disease was justifiable because Alzheimer’s Disease  is “a kind of death.” 

“I know it sounds cruel, but if he’s going to do something, he should divorce her (or him) and start all over again, but make sure she (he) has custodial care and somebody looking after her (him),” Robertson said.  He did also say that it was a very difficult decision and one that might best be handled by an ethics committee rather than himself, but that he would not lay a guilt trip onto a person who made the decision to divorce under those circumstances.

According to the AARP website “Divorce is uncommon among couples where one partner is suffering from Alzheimer’s, said Beth Kallmyer, director of constituent services for the Alzheimer’s Association, which provides resources to sufferers and their families.”

Still others have handled it differently.  CBS news correspondent, Barry Peterson, author of the book “Jan’s Story: Love Lost to the Long Goodbye of Alzheimer’s” chose to introduce a new woman to his life without divorcing his spouse, Jan, who no longer recognizes him and resides in a memory facility.  He did so with the blessing of Jan’s family.  Both Mr. Peterson and his new partner visit Jan often.

With medical science, people are living longer and longer and that includes those who suffer from Alzheimer’s Disease.  Is it fair to deny the surviving spouse the right to intimacy and soulful connection for what could be a decades long  slow death?  I don’t know.

Here are some of the reactions I received when I posted the link to the article on Twitter:

“Read an overview of segment. Couldn’t watch video. Most disappointing.”

 ”He obviously hasn’t lived with someone who has Alzheimer’s disease. I have and there is much love to share to the end.”

Question:  My mother is currently in skilled nursing following a recent hospitalization after a fall.  She has Alzheimer’s Disease and I don’t feel that we can care for her at home after her discharge.  Will Medicare cover the cost of her care in an Alzheimer’s care facility?

Unfortunately, the answer to that question is NO.

Medicare will cover up to 100 days of nursing home care after a 3 day INPATIENT** stay at a hospital and then it becomes the duty of the care recipient or the family to pay.  (If the patient is discharged home from the nursing home and waits a 3 month period of time, and THEN is readmitted to the hospital, another 100 days of nursing care is covered.)

** Whenever your aging loved one is admitted to the hospital, make sure that they are admitted as an inpatient, not on observation and that they stay a whole 3 days or the nursing home care will not be covered.  Ask to have the social worker speak with you in order to determine that this is carried out correctly.

They are 4other ways that care in a memory care facility might be covered:

1.  Long Term Care Insurance will cover a certain percentage of daily memory care.  (It may be too late to utilize this option for your loved one but consider purchasing  it for yourself, as it becomes much more expensive as your age increases.)

2. Medicare Supplemental Insurance (sometimes called Medi-Gap) will help to pay for skilled nursing care but only when it is covered by Medicare.

3.  Medicaid may cover memory care but what is covered and the ability to qualify for Medicaid varies from state to state.  Check with an experienced elderlaw attorney to determine qualifications.  You should begin planning for this option long before your loved one needs to use it.

4.  If your loved one served in the military, there may be some coverage available, but this option is iffy at best and often difficult to access.

This afternoon I had the pleasure of speaking with Jim Nalley, Founder of EmFinders, a company that utilizes the secure and reliable 911 emergency system in order to quickly locate and recover missing loved ones (who are wearing the EmSeekQ device) and who may have wandered.

The EmSeeQ  device is a watch-like apparatus that can be worn 24/7 by the at-risk person.  If that person goes missing, a call is placed to 911 to alert law enforcement officials and then to EmFinders to request remote activation of the device (I’m thinking LoJack or On-Star here).

Because of the type of technology utilized, it can find persons much better than a GPS type system.

I asked Jim “but what if the person takes it off” ?   He reassured me that the device is designed so as to require 2 hands to open the clasp so that only the caregiver can remove it.  It is also water-resistant, and submergible. 

I thought it would be very expensive but was surprised to learn that to buy the device is just $199.00 plus $25.00 per month for monitoring.  They also have a rental program. 

The video below shows exactly how it works.

Last night I watched On Golden Pond starring Henry Fonda and Katharine Hepburn.  It also featured Jane Fonda. I ended up crying for an hour.

I hadn’t seen the movie since it’s release in 1981 and I had forgotten that dementia (although the word was never uttered) played a part in the movie.  There is a scene where Ethel (Katharine Hepburn) asks Norman (Henry Fonda) to go out and pick some berries.  While searching for the berries, he becomes lost and temporarily unable to find his way back home.  His facial expressions of the sheer terror that being lost and unable to remember the way home would bring were spot on! 

Dementia wasn’t discussed much 30 years ago.  It was often thought of as a part of aging and referred to as senility, as something that was expected of old people.  Seldom was the fear that the person with the memory loss experienced spoken of.  This film was far ahead of its time in that regard.

Today, there are more than 5 million people in the United States alone that are suffering from Alzheimer’s Disease and that doesn’t include other causes of dementia such as vascular disease, Parkinson’s, Lewy Bodies, AIDs-related, frontotemporal Lobe and more.   The number of Alzheimer’s cases is expected to increase to 16 million by 2050!

My father had dementia; he also had heart disease as Henry Fonda’s character is eluded to having.  My father spent many months each year at his cabin on the lake and loved fishing.  He could sometimes be an “old POOP”, as Ethel lovingly called Norman several times throughout the movie.  So for me, this movie brought back a lot of memories and brought forth a lot of tears. 

How I miss that man.

Old age is not fun but it is inevitable.  Dementia robs those afflicted with it of even more time.  Can we do anything to stop it?  A little bit.

You can find a wonderful comprehensive article about some of the information that came out of the Alzheimer’s Association 2011 International Conference on Alzheimer’s Disease, which took place in Paris last week, HERE.

photo credit: IMDB.com

Now, a new article, published on the website www.nhs.uk speaks of an American study  that stated that brain scans may be able to detect Alzheimer’s Disease in a patient years before symptoms appear. 

Researchers were  from the Massachusetts Alzheimer’s Disease Research Center in the US.   The study was funded by the US National Institutes of Health, the Alzheimer’s Association, the Mental Illness and Neuroscience Discovery Institute and the Illinois Department of Public Health.

The study results are not necessarily the reason for my writing this article.  What I more concerned about is the early diagnosis of the disease “years before symptoms appear’.

Is this really a good thing or will it cause problems similar to those problems experienced by persons diagnosed with AIDs, cancers or even pregnancies (how many of us hid our pregnancies from our employers for as long as possible so that we would not be “let go” for some unrelated reason?)

Will persons with a diagnosis but no symptoms suddenly be looked up differently by employers, friends or even family members?  Will their work be judged differently by an employer who may be LOOKING for symptomatology to align with the diagnosis?

Will insurance companies raise premiums?  Will long term care insurance become impossible to obtain once there is a diagnosis?  (Wouldn’t it be better to obtain LTC insurance when there is a mere suspicion rather than a diagnosis?

Will friends and family members become distant or isolate the person who is diagnosed because they feel that the person “has Alzheimer’s and probably won’t be up for” this or that?

What about the actual person who is being diagnosed?  How much worry will it cause?  Will they suddenly rearrange their life and start checking off their bucket list or will they be thrown into a deep dispair lying in wait of the day when the first symptoms actually appear?

And what if the diagnosis is WRONG?

Alzheimer’s and other dementias carry such a stigma.   If you were the person who had the disease (or if it was to happen to your loved-one), would you want to know earlier or later?

I’d love to hear your thoughts. 

Unfortunately, my daughter was not able to visit him before my father moved into the last stages of dementia.  A negative experience at the hospital caused him to experience delirium and then to decline rapidly.  When she arrived, he was barely recognizable, propped up in his wheelchair by the nurse’s station, unaware of his surroundings and not speaking. 

But as my daughter looked at him straight in the face, smiled and said “Hi, Papa, it’s me”, for a moment, just a moment, there was a glimmer of recognition as he smiled and raised his hand …and then he was gone again, back to wherever dementia sufferers go.  This was the last time we saw a glimmer of clarity in him.

Many caregivers of dementia patients see those moments of clarity in their loved ones and they offer moments of hope that perhaps their loved ones are returning to them.  Excrutiatingly, the moments don’t last.

Directed by Simon Pitts and written by Carol Younghusband, “Ten Glorious Seconds” is a short film about Albert, who is in the last stages of Alzheimer’s Disease and his wife Josie who longs to connect with him.

You can watch the movie here ~~> Ten Glorious Seconds from Simon Pitts on Vimeo.

I would love to see your comments about it.

Gary states that his goal was to write a book that was as “caregiver friendly” as possible and that is just what this book is.  Gone is the usual medical jargon and diagnostic mumbo-jumbo that often accompanies books related to Alzheimer’s Disease and caregiving.  Even as a nurse, I don’t enjoy reading the more scientific books…as a caregiver, our brains need a break and some down to earth advice.

Perhaps because Gary also writes a weekly caregiving column for the Hernando Today, he begins each of his chapters with a “Dear Caregiver” note that includes a quotation and his interpretation of how that quotation relates to caregiving or to the dementia itself. 

An example from his book is “Dear Caregiver, American philospopher and poet, Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote: “it is one of the most beautiful compensations of life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.”  You will find that after being a caregiver, you will have a different and better outlook on life.”

When I cared for my own father, I always felt guilt that my father spent over 2 hours reading the paper each day (which gave me some time alone but made me feel guilty for not entertaining him).  In his book, Gary stated how much his father enjoyed playing solitaire and could often spend several hours doing so.  I was relieved to learn that other caregivers were also not always at their loved one’s side. 

Gary’s book is a very down-to-earth, easy to read and poignant account of his successful caregiving journey.  It offers readers hope and enlightenment and can help to affirm to a caregiver that as long as they are doing their best, the way they are caregiving is just perfect.

November is National Alzheimer’s Awareness month and with this disease, awareness
really matters.

Novel methods for more accurate diagnoses and new drugs for better treatment will play
important roles in a comprehensive solution to the Alzheimer’s problem. However, a
careful look at how “awareness and education” can drive immediate progress reveals a
surprisingly optimistic scenario.

It may not be obvious, but better awareness and understanding of Alzheimer’s
symptoms and risks can bring tremendous short-term benefits. Such knowledge
can reduce healthcare costs, enable more timely and effective intervention, reduce
incidence of dementia, and accelerate scientific progress. This short article, “5 Reasons
Why Alzheimer’s Awareness Matters”, makes a clear case for the benefits of higher
awareness.

Be a part of the solution. Increase your own awareness by reading this short article and
then promote the message more broadly by sharing it with your online networks.

Click on the title above or HERE to see the full article.

The White House

Office of the Press Secretary

Presidential Proclamation–National Family Caregivers Month

——-
BY THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
A PROCLAMATION
 

Every day, family members, friends, neighbors, and concerned individuals across America provide essential attention and assistance to their loved ones. Many individuals in need of care — including children, elders, and persons with disabilities — would have difficulty remaining safely in their homes and community without the support of their relatives and caregivers.

Caregivers often look after multiple generations of family members. Their efforts are vital to the quality of life of countless American seniors, bringing comfort and friendship to these treasured citizens. However, this labor of love can result in physical, psychological, and financial hardship for caregivers, and research suggests they often put their own health and well-being at risk while assisting loved ones. Through the National Family Caregiver Support Program, individuals can help their loved ones remain comfortably in the home and receive assistance with their caregiving responsibilities. This program provides information, assistance, counseling, training, support groups, and respite care for caregivers across our country.

My Administration’s Middle Class Task Force, led by Vice President Joe Biden, has made supporting family caregivers a priority, and we are working to assist caregivers as they juggle work, filial, and financial responsibilities……..

SEE THE REST OF THE PROCLAMATION HERE

And on a related note:

The Caregiver’s Voice  (The Independent Voice of Family and Professional Caregivers of adults with brain impairment or dementia caused by Alzheimer’s, stroke, related illnesses, or trauma)  spotlights a caregiver each month.  

Last month I decided that I would nominate a caregiver whom I have known for about 2 years now.  I met Carol, who cares for her mother who is  in the advanced stages of Alzheimer’s Disease, on Twitter of all places.  Carol has now gravitated to using Facebook more often than Twitter but we do keep in touch.  I felt that she was an excellent example of a caregiver who goes above and beyond the normal caregiving methods to keep her mother not only safe, but mentally stimulated…………And she WON!

So without further adieux:

CONGRATULATIONS, Carol Wright for being named The Caregiver’s Voice Family Caregiver of the Month.

Despite the hopelessness of a terminal disease, Carol finds ways to bring her mother (who is in the late stages of Alzheimer’s) JOY each day with creative activities.  (Ed.)

Sole caregiver for Mom in advance stage of dementia
Carol Wright has been the sole caregiver for her mother, who is in the advanced stages of Alzheimer’s disease, for over eight years. Like most caregivers, she was thrust into the position suddenly and made the choice to leave her home in another state to come live with her mom.

“Carol has found innovative ways to help her mom enjoy each day despite the hopelessness of late-stage Alzheimer’s.” – Former caregiver and selection committee member.

Mother loves music, babies, and animals.
What impresses me about Carol is the creativity she uses in her caregiving role. Her mother loves music, babies, and animals; so, Carol has gone out of her way to see that her mother is entertained.

Sunflower seeds, not peanuts, are better at the squirrel-feeding table.
Because it’s difficult to bring her mom into the world of nature, Carol has brought nature to her mom by setting up a squirrel-feeding table. It is located just outside, right next to her mother’s window, so that she can sit and watch the squirrels eating. Carol suggests using sunflower seeds instead of peanuts because the squirrels will stay at the table longer eating the seeds. She explains that “They tend to take the peanuts back to their nests.”

To see the rest of the article on this great caregiver,  go to The Caregiver’s Voice

Thank you to Brenda Avadian for allowing me to reprint portions of this article.